What a Turkey!

I cannot remember exactly why, but I did not want the Chicken Dance played at my wedding. We skipped a lot of the traditions like tossing the bouquet and the garter, and smushing cake (and/or wedding danishes) in each other's faces. But why skip the Chicken Dance? I mean, it's fun, right?

Pam used to sing some version of it, I don't even know if there are real lyrics...it went, "I don't want to be a chicken, I don't want to be a chicken. I'd rather be a duck, quack, quack, quack, quack." We had danced it together MANY times before. She desperately wanted me to play it, and maybe that's why I didn't want to...I was on a real power trip then, declaring this and that about the menu and the guest list and the invitations. A true Bridezilla. I made the DJ promise not to play it, and Pam was so upset that she called me out in her Christmas letter! I can't remember the exact words she used (I'll find that letter one of these days) but she said something like, "My mean sister won't even let me dance the Chicken Dance at her wedding."

When push came to shove, the DJ caved. I don't know what Pam said to him, but he played that song for her after all, even though I was paying him NOT to! When they played it again last weekend at Nick's wedding, dedicated to Pam and with everyone missing her, I wished I hadn't been so stupid about it. Really, she asked so little from me, why was I so stubborn? I acted like such a little brat, trying to declare my independence from my big sister. From now on, every time I hear that music, I will flap my arms and quack for Pam, and hope she is dancing with me.

Sibling Rivalry

I just finished reading a book about brothers and sisters. On the last page, there was a quote from another writer about how she looked up to her big sister. It said something like, "If she said to eat the fish food, I ate the fish food. I would do anything she told me because I loved her so much." I'm paraphrasing, but you get the point. Siblings do that, don't they? They take advantage of their position to tease, to make them feel superior.

Pam was 12 years older than me, so I wouldn't say that we had any form of rivalry. She just thought I was the cutest little thing, and that the sun rose and set over me. So the things she asked me to do were not cruel, they were not mean. They were just meant to accentuate my, well, my cuteness.

I remember her always asking me to sing for her friends and the neighbors..."Fried Ham" and "The Little Green Frog" were some of her favorites. Then there was this other thing she always made me do. She would ask me to pose with one finger on my head (like a ballerina), one finger on my nose, and stand on one foot. Somewhere there is a picture of me doing this, with a crazy blond wig on my head. Sometimes she would tell me to hop up and down. We would always fall apart in laughter...I don't know why it was so funny, but it was.

It's a good thing that Pam never told me to eat fish food, because I would have done it. I loved her that much.