For better and worse, I have a very active dream life. Lots of details, in color, almost every night for as long as I can remember. Sometimes I even have great ideas or solve things that have been bothering me during the day. I've even had a few dreams about Pam since she passed away, but none as wonderful as I had early this morning.

I was on my way to meet some friends to carpool to a party...we were leaving some kind of conference center or something, out in the woods. Crossing a field to get to my car, I had the urge to turn around, and there was Pam standing right behind me. She looked great. She was in a green fleece shirt, she had on her glasses, and her hair looked beautiful. :) I grabbed her by the arm to see if she was real, and I could feel her. I told her that I loved her and missed her, and she told me the same. I said, "I wish you could stay." Then, I thought she said "I don't want to stay..." but when I asked she said, "No, I do! I wish I could stay." But I knew she wouldn't be able to.

Then we started walking and I realized that the field was full of purple and white striped crocuses, like the ones we have in our yard right now. I said to her, "I call these 'Pammie flowers.'" I have no idea why I said that, but she laughed! I kept telling her how much I loved her, and she said, "You are capable of incredible love." Then I did something I really regret (as much as you can regret actions in a dream). I told her I had to go because my friends were waiting for me. She said that was fine. The thing is, at the time, I didn't have any doubt that I would see her again.

So I turned and walked away, and I didn't look back. When I woke up a few minutes later, I felt like I had just been with her...I could still hear her voice and feel her arm in my hand. Over the course of the day the feeling has faded a bit, so I do hope that we meet again soon.

I have a Daisy in my house

As Steph mentioned in her blog, we recently adopted a kitten and named her Daisy. (Guess why we named her Daisy?) We wanted to remember and honor Pammie on her birthday. We thought of how she loved animals and so what better tribute, than to take in a homeless kitten. Daisy was 3 months old on March 19. She is black with white markings and her white paws make her look like she is wearing high white socks. We have had Daisy in our house for 2 weeks, and I think we may have gotten the kitty version of Brie (Pammie's very lively Golden Retriever). Just now, we were sitting watching TV and I thought I heard meowing. A search of the house found Daisy locked in the spice cabinet, sitting on the revolving shelf. Earlier today, I found her in the trash can next to our computer, frolicking in the paper. Everytime we attempt to do work on the computer, Daisy comes and sits on the keyboard and tries to follow the cursor with her paw (it's really hard to get any work done with a kitty on your keyboard). When we are eating, Daisy has to be locked in the Laundry room because she cannot be deterred from climbing on the table and walking on our plates! She loves to run around the house at full speed, chasing I don't know what. Her lively spirit so reminds me of Pammie. I think Pammie had a hand in making sure that Daisy came to our house. Daisy makes us smile and laugh. And I know that just as Pammie loved her Briejette, we will love our Daisy, no matter what she gets into next!

Geo-nuts

On a few of our trips home, Mike and I brought Pam out for some geocaching near her house. There is a lot of public land in and around Pine Island, including segments of the Appalachian Trail. I thought she really liked it, searching around the woods for hidden treasure. She was definitely a good sport...on one hunt she followed Mike WAY off trail, over a precarious rocky ridge, while I waited back on the trail in case of emergency. I have to admit, I was nervous. Mike had Emma on his back and Pam was none to steady on those rocks! But I could hear her excitement when they found the box, and she insisted that she was up for another cache on the way home.

As we approached the coordinates in the car, it became apparent that the cache was hidden in a rock wall along the left side of the road. Pam and I got out to look, but she seemed pretty nervous as I started reaching in between the rocks. I asked her what was wrong, and she admitted that geocaching was really not a good sport for her. She did enjoy the walking in the woods, but she was afraid that there would be something bad hidden in the box. "Like a bomb, or something." I started laughing at her, telling her she was crazy. Who would do that? Then out of nowhere a jogger came up behind us and said, "Hey." We both just about jumped out of our skins! I'm sure he thought we were quite nuts, poking around in a rock wall and screaming in fear of him. But then, the Clarks are used to this...being considered nuts, I mean. :)